The Royal Nanny Page 24

  “No. I can’t. Not right now. I will. But not now. Later,” she promised, turning away from the disappointment that washed over Valerie’s face. She couldn’t bear the weight of Valerie’s feelings on top of her own guilt, nervousness, and sadness.

  “You know, I wish my parents were here right now,” she confessed after she and Valerie sat in silence for a moment.

  “I know you miss them,” Valerie responded.

  Leyah nodded. “Everyday. There are some days when something will happen,” Leyah said as she turned on the seat of her vanity, the skirt of her wedding gown shifting and gliding around her legs. “And all I will think is how much I wish I could share that moment with my dad, or I will be feeling some sort of uncomfortable emotion, or be confused about how I’m feeling, and I will want to speak with my mom.” She shrugged. “But I can’t. I’ll never be able to hear my father’s deep, rumbling laugh ever again. Nor will I be able to feel my mother’s hugs or even hear her voice as she sings. And my father? I’ll never have him put his arm around me, cuddle with me, while he ignores his duties for two hours, just so he can watch a movie with me.”

  She inhaled deeply, blinking away the tears that threatened to fall.

  “I know that to you, I seem deceitful. I may even appear foolish to be marrying a man who doesn’t know everything about me. But I don’t need to be Princess Aa’Leyah of Waldakan to Alastair. I’m his Princess Leyah. And how in the world do I tell the man that I love, against my better judgement, and in spite of fighting it with everything inside of me, that I’m already a princess? That I’m not the nanny he thinks I am, and that my parents would have hated him just because of where he was born and his name and title? And that if his parents ever found out about me, they would either exile me, have me thrown in jail, or worse.”

  She looked up at Valerie and shook her head again. “No. I can’t tell him. Not until I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that Alastair will stand beside me when the truth comes out.”

  Valerie nodded. “I can understand why you feel that way, but just remember, secrets have a way of coming out. And what is done in the dark will always come into the light. Just make sure that when it does, you don’t regret not telling Alastair sooner.”

  She touched Leyah’s shoulder before turning to walk out of the bridal suite at the church where the wedding was taking place. Leyah turned back to the vanity mirror and sighed. She knew Valerie was telling the truth, and that she should indeed tell Alastair the truth before he found out from someone else, but fear held her tongue hostage. Fear for her people who were currently infiltrated in Malvidencian society. Fear for her people still in Waldakan waiting for her to return, or to send word that the way had been cleared for them to return to the country of their people’s birth. And largely, fear for the relationship she had with Alastair. She wasn’t exactly sure when he’d come to mean so much to her, but he did, and the thought of him no longer being in her life filled her with such a deep-seeded terror that it kept her mouth shut, when she should confess all.

  With another sigh, Leyah patted her hair, and pushed herself up from the vanity. Danorian was giving her away, against his private protest to her. However, when it was all said and done, he’d agreed, telling her he was humbled to be standing in for her father. Leyah had felt uncomfortable, and slightly angry, at his choice of words. No man could replace her father in her eyes, however, she’d simply thanked the guard she’d known since birth.

  The knock on the suite door let her know it was time for her to make her way down the aisle. Leyah picked up her bridal bouquet that was made up of white roses, orange gerbera daisies, bird of paradise flowers, and orchids, and made her way out of the room.

  Alastair stood at the altar in the royal cathedral waiting for Leyah to appear. He knew he presented an air of confidence, but inside he was a trembling mass of nerves. This was it. His wedding day. The day he ceased being a bachelor of ill repute and became a—somewhat—respectable married man. A man who would spend time trying to immediately get his wife pregnant. The image of Leyah swelling with his child caused a bit of swelling of his own, and Alastair cleared his throat and shifted his stance, folding his hands in front of his groin. It wouldn’t do for him to be sporting wood in the church, in front of the priest, his parents, and the majority of respectable Malvidencian society.

  He looked out into the crowd and made note of the security around the room. They were sufficiently protected. That knowledge allowed him to relax just a bit.

  Lady Taylor Weshian, who looked as if she were about to drop her baby at any moment, was also sitting in the audience, glaring at Helen, who was a bridesmaid, rubbing her stomach obviously. The woman hadn’t consented to doing a paternity test while she was still pregnant—something which had raised Alastair’s suspicions even more—but had promised she would do so as soon as she gave birth “to Augustus’s heir.” The situation had caused even more tension between Augustus and his lady love, Helen, but Alastair was happy to see that the woman had at least stayed around this time.

  He nodded to his father who sat in the front row, before clearing his throat and straightening his shoulders once again. His kothrar and kuthrar had both sufficiently recovered from their terrible ordeals, enough to attend their third son’s wedding and not set tongues a wagging at the possibility that they disapproved of his union with Leyah. Even if they did, in fact, not approve. After the disastrous dinner, both of his parents had summoned him to their study, one after the other, to ask him if he was certain he wanted to marry Leyah. He had assured them both that she hadn’t pressured him, or even hinted that it was something she’d wanted. That he had, in fact, had to pursue Leyah relentlessly. He wanted to marry her. No.

  He needed to marry her.

  There was simply no other way around it. He couldn’t imagine his life without her. Couldn’t foresee going another morning without her in his arms. Couldn’t imagine going to bed one more night without her in his bed.

  Couldn’t take one more cold shower in an effort to leash the rampant desire that held him hostage. He needed her taste on his tongue. Her body pressed against his. Her tight pussy riding his cock. He needed her smile. Her laughter. Her thoughts on life, family, friendship. He needed her submission. Her feistiness. Her independence. Her compassion.

  He needed her to balance him out. To encourage and support him. And to look at him the way she often did when she thought he wasn’t paying attention. As if she couldn’t understand why she was with him, why he wanted her, but she couldn’t imagine things not being the way they were.

  Perhaps he was reading a little too much into the soft gazes she sent his way, but Alastair felt as if he knew Leyah by this point.

  Before he could muse any more on his future wife, the strains of the wedding march began to play and the audience in the cathedral rose to their feet, and Alastair turned his focus to the stairs that led to the bridal suite. His breath caught in his lungs and his voice ceased to work as Leyah appeared at the top of the steps.

  She was absolutely magnificent.

  Leyah had refused to let him purchase her wedding gown, and hadn’t allowed anyone to help her with it, and looking at her now, he could see that had been the right choice.

  Leyah wore a long, white, sleeveless gown, with a sweetheart neckline, and straps of embroidered silk holding it up to her curvaceous figure. It was a mermaid style fit that hugged her silhouette in all the right places. There was a floral and lace detailing over the torso and down to where the silk met the tulle of the skirt, just above her knees. Floral straps complimented the sweetheart neckline and perfectly framed her naked back, which he saw as she reached the bottom of the stairs, and turned to take Danorian’s arm, which only served to enflame his senses even more. The dress flared out from behind, an extremely long cathedral train of tulle trailed down behind her, the floral design interspersed throughout. A lace veil covered her elegantly curled updo, the black strands pulled back from her face, it was edged in a floral design
as well. As she moved to step down the aisle, Alastair realized that the dress wasn’t completely the typical mermaid gown design. There was a thin slit in the dress along Leyah’s right leg. Where he expected to see the skin of her thigh and leg, there was more fabric. It shimmered like silk, and the colors were purple, black, green—the colors of the Waldakan flag—that flowed down and faded into the white tulle at the bottom of the gown. It was a completely unique design, and Alastair was even more enchanted with his bride than he had been before.

  He grinned as he noticed the diamonds he’d had delivered to her around her throat, in her ears, and around her wrist. He knew that to anyone else, it appeared that Leyah was simply wearing a diamond choker, but both she and he knew what that collar, which had a tiny lock at the back, signified. He had collared her, and that diamond collar would never come off, because he refused to remove it.

  “You did good, bruthrar,” Augustus’s voice came from behind him and Alastair nodded.

  “Iak, I did,” Alastair agreed.

  He took Leyah’s hand as she and Danorian came abreast of him, and he nodded at the older man, who seemed reluctant to release Leyah to him.

  “Thank you, Lord Danorian,” Leyah said softly and Alastair frowned at the title she’d given to the guard. However, his confusion was shoved away violently, when Leyah leaned up to press a kiss to Danorian’s cheek, only to be replaced with jealousy. He barely restrained the growl that built in his throat, merely tugging Leyah away from her cousin and nodding once more to Danorian, who bowed, and turned to sit in the seat designated for him.

  Alastair’s eyes took in Leyah’s form completely now that she stood in front of him. Her dark honey-brown skin glowed, a faint shimmer of gold covered her shoulders, clavicle, and cleavage, and it took Alastair a moment before he realized that she’d lightly dusted herself with gold glitter. Her full breasts were on display, what with her cleavage pressed high at the top of the dress, and Alastair reached up for her veil and tugged it over the top of her dress in an attempt to shield her from view of the other men in the cathedral.

  Leyah simply laughed at him softly, and reached up to cup his cheek, gazing up at him lovingly. Alastair felt a tug in the center of his chest, and he smiled down at her.

  “You are gorgeous,” he whispered to her.

  “Thank you. You are too,” she replied.

  He lifted her hands to his lips and kissed the backs of each of them.

  “I love you,” he told her, his voice sounding rough with barely concealed emotion.

  Leyah’s eyes slid closed for a moment as she breathed in relief. She opened her eyes after a second and smiled brilliantly up at him. “Thank gods because I love you too.”

  Alastair chuckled softly and leaned down to kiss her, only to be met with the priest’s Bible.

  “Uh-uh-uh,” the elderly priest tsked. “Not yet, my prince.”

  The congregation laughed, and Alastair felt his face flame hotly with embarrassment.

  He waved his hand in the air. “Well, hurry up then, Priest. I want to kiss my new wife.”

  The cathedral audience laughed once again and Leyah’s eyes twinkled with amusement as she shook her head.

  “Yes, well,” the priest cleared his throat. “If anyone should have just cause why these two should not be joined together in holy matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”

  Alastair wasn’t worried about anyone speaking up, it would be the height of rudeness and disrespect to do so, but he did wonder at the tensing of Leyah’s fingers in his hand. When the priest nodded, Leyah breathed a sigh of relief and Alastair simply smiled at her.

  “No one would dare interrupt our wedding,” he reassured her.

  Leyah simply smiled back at him and nodded. “I know, it’s just… nerves, I guess.”

  Alastair inclined his head in her direction and tuned back into the priest’s words.

  “Prince Alastair and Lady Smythe have written their own vows and so we will allow them to share their words of love, devotion, and fidelity with all of us present. Prince Alastair? If you would begin?” the priest directed.

  Alastair nodded his head. Though he had his vows written on index cards in his jacket pocket, as he stared at Leyah, he realized that he didn’t need them.

  “The first moment I saw you, you were walking up the drive of the palace, wearing a black dress, your hair in braids, her focus on securing a position as my brother and sister-in-law’s nanny. I was hooked from that very first sighting. After our first meeting and your interview, I was smitten. I knew I had to have you in my life. But, the first time we kissed, and you dropped your façade of the dutiful, shy, demure nanny? That’s when I knew. I knew you had been made for me, and I had been made for you. Your concern for me when I had my accident, the way you care for my nieces, the way you defer to my sister-in-law when it comes to the care of her children, the way you laugh, your smile, your mind… these are just some of the things I love about you. You stood up to my father. The king!” he laughed. “No one has ever done such a thing, besides my mother. And rather than embarrassing me, it made me proud. Proud to call you mine. Proud to have your hand in mine as we continue this journey of life together. As we start our own family. I love your honesty, your… innocence and submission. Your steel determination. You are everything I have been waiting for. Everything I never knew I always needed. You complete my soul, give breath to my spirit, and rhythm to my heartbeat. You make me want to grow and be a better man. A better brother. A better son. A better prince. And the best husband and, one day, father, that I can be. Thank you for agreeing to be mine for all eternity.”

  When Alastair finished he heard sniffles all around him, but he only had eyes for Leyah. His beautiful, perfect Leyah, who had tears streaming down her cheeks. He wiped them away with the pads of his thumbs, then handed her the handkerchief from his jacket pocket. She wiped her nose delicately, then gave him a watery smile.

  “How am I supposed to follow that?” she asked him, and their guests laughed. Leyah shook her head and took a deep breath.

  “When I first met you, I thought you were arrogant, overly confident, demanding, and unbelievably handsome. You stole my attention and my focus from the very first hello. I was affected, hooked, and distracted from what I thought was my sole purpose from coming to the palace in the first place.” She laughed, the sound beautiful and soothing any remaining damaged and broken parts of his heart and soul that her love, laugh, and smile hadn’t already healed. “I couldn’t get you out of my head. You were everywhere I turned. I was sure that I was purely an anomaly for you. A distraction or you just enjoyed the thrill of the chase. However, as I got to know you, I saw all of the pieces and parts of yourself that you try to keep so hidden from the rest of the world. I saw that you had a reason for your arrogance. You are exceptionally good at what you do. Your confidence was based on your hard work and your attention to detail. You were demanding because you want to see everyone around you excel and move to their best potential. And your handsomeness? Well, you became even more gorgeous to me when you showed me humility. Your soft side. Your heart. And when you showed me your heart? Well, you stole mine as well.

  “You too are everything that I never knew I always wanted and needed. You are the epitome of my every dream come true. You have faith in me. You compliment me every chance you get. You are my protector. You are my biggest cheerleader. You will fight for me, but you will also stand aside and let me fight my battles as well or fight for us. You are my love and I cannot think of another person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I love you.”

  Alastair lifted a hand to his cheek when he felt liquid dripping down them, and he looked up to see if the ceiling had a leak, when he heard Algerone laughing behind him.

  “It’s okay to cry, little brother. That sh-ish, was beautiful,” Algerone corrected himself when the priest gave him a censuring look.

  Alastair laughed and shook his head. He had been undone by the woman in
front of him. She had him completely sunk and he didn’t want to take another breath without her.

  “Do you have the rings?” the priest asked Augustus who passed them over. Leyah turned and handed her bouquet to Valerie, and accepted Alastair’s wedding ring from her.

  “Alastair, repeat after me: With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow. Just as this circle is without end, my love for you is eternal. Just as it is unbreakable, my commitment to you will never fail. With this ring I take you to be my trusted partner for life.”

  Alastair repeated the priest’s words, before holding out his left hand as Leyah repeated the same words and slid the white gold band on his left ring finger. The weight of the enormous undertaking he had just promised himself to, settled on his shoulders, just as the ring settled on his finger. He looked from the ring, up to Leyah’s face and peace washed over him. He’d made the right decision. She was his for life.

  “Alastair, do you pledge to take Leyah, to be your lawfully wedded wife, and do you promise these things to her: to respect, trust, and care for her? To be faithful and honest to her? To share everything in your life with her. To love her through the best and the worst that is to come?”

  Alastair nodded. “I do.”

  “And Leyah, do you pledge to take Alastair, to be your lawfully wedded husband, and do you promise these things to him: to respect, trust, obey, and care for him? To be faithful and honest to him? To share everything in your life with him. To love him through the best and the worst that is to come?”

  Leyah swallowed and inhaled. For some inane reason, nervousness froze the air in Alastair’s lungs as he waited for her response.